Restoring sexuality is possible but it just isn’t a walk in the park

June 3, 2008

The process of change is difficult and complicated. I suppose this is analogous to the difficult and complicated process of becoming ‘homosexual’ in the first place. The process back to heterosexuality involves just as many layers. A key difference however is that the process of becoming homosexual is largely subconscious, yet the process of restoring heterosexuality is primarily conscious. That is to say, that the individual struggling with same sex attraction has to choose consciously to change his behaviour, his thought patterns, his negative ways of dealing with his emotions. If he does not make these conscious choices then his subconcsious will simply play out the routines that it developed as he grew up to protect himself and to deal with his circumstances. Continuing with these routines will not change anything. Breaking them and resolving the underlying issues will bring the healing desired. BUT, we must not underestimate the task of breaking these routines and resolving the underlying issues. The commitment, resolve, and strength involved are huge.

I believe that the commitment, resolve and strength needed rest within each one of us who struggles with homosexuality, however few of us delve deep enough to untap it. We look for someone else to save us, someone outside of us to give us a hand up, a book or seminar to lead us to the ‘new answer’, to another way.

An inherent issue of homosexuality is passivity. Instead of living in our all-too-familiar passivity we need to throw it off and actively pursue the changes that we so long for. Moving from the passive to the active is inherently masculine. We fear it, we don’t feel comfortable with it, we want someone else to do it all for us. We need to face facts. No one else will do it for you!! Or maybe ‘I’ should be facing what ‘I’ am really talking about: NO ONE ELSE WILL DO IT FOR ME!!

Yeah, I still look for someone else to sort it all out, to make it all better. God won’t even make it all better. I’ve asked Him enough to know that He just doesn’t work like that. He is waiting for me to choose Him above all else - above my addictions, above my comforts, above my fears, above my passive self-protection. He wants me to choose the life He has for me. Even in believing in God, I can’t just live in passivity and expect Him to be active. In the very least I must activate my faith in Him, and this involves stepping beyond myself.

So, we better get to it. The strength we need lies within, the commitment is there, the resolve too. But will we reach it - will I reach it??

Posted in To Others